E125 Bronwyn Schweigerdt Angry At The Right Things
Let’s Be Well Together Podcast - Episode 125
Date: June 18, 2024
Participants: Elise Seifert, Sheila Webster, John Webster and Cameron Earnshaw
Guest: Bronwyn Schweigerdt
Start Times and Segments:
[0:00:16] What’s On Your Mind: We heard about some of Elise’s university castle experiences on Episode 122. Sheila said it scratched the surface. She dives into the back story.
[0:11:27] Expanding Minds Interview: [Mental Wellness] We interview Bronwyn Schweigerdt, whose life experiences led her to a path as a therapist. She recognized a need to express anger that she was holding, and to have it validated by someone else. Dissociated anger makes us sick, both mentally and physically. What’s sharable is bearable. Our feelings are not tolerable in isolation. That’s when they hurt us. That’s where they stagnate inside our bodies and make us sick. If you feel it and you share it with someone else, it does release. Anger is like a light on our emotional dashboard, like a light in a car that says, “check the engine”. Something needs attention. I can master the anger instead of letting the anger master me. We do that by validating it for ourselves, then expressing it in a healthy way using boundaries, assertiveness or an accountability of sorts. Bronwyn hosts a podcast called Angry At The Right Things, sharing information as a marriage and family therapist.
[0:30:21] Adventures of the Starving Artist: Cameron and his Rockstar Music lessons team were meeting people at the Ottawa Children’s festival, then he took some of the Rockstar group to enjoy go karts.
[0:34:40] Move That Body: Sheila was off travelling twice, and worked more than usual between trips. She missed her gym and workout routine. We talk about getting back into a routine after an absence.
[0:38:31] Running Popup: John was listening to Moby Dick audiobook on a run. A line by Captain Ahab made him think, “the only real owner of anything is its commander”. Does that mean we can become the owners of ourselves by becoming the commanders of ourselves?
[0:41:16] Flipside of the Coin: Sheila loves games – card games, board games and much more. John doesn’t typically volunteer to join, but enjoys them when he does.
Quotes and Take-Aways:
Bronwyn – Life hits you sideways at times. I fell into a very sever depressive episode, where I was barely functioning. I went looking for a therapist. I tried multiple therapists. I remember thinking multiple times, “I am barely functioning right now, but I’m pretty sure that I would make a better therapist than this person is to me.” I never found a good therapist in my journey. I tried abut 5 in the next 10 years as I went through depressive episodes. From that, I obtained another master’s degree – in counselling – and became a licensed therapist.
Bronwyn – One of the reasons I’m doing the Angry At The Right Things podcast is to get these principles out to other therapists, but also to get the message to the population at large – if they want to bypass therapy or get grounded in some basic principles to help them look for the right therapist – to know what they are looking for – to be savvy.
Bronwyn – It helps to be a learner as a therapist, and you need a posture of humility to be a learner. You need to be comfortable with disequilibrium to be a learner. It’s a posture of your heart.
Bronwyn – Some people who go into therapy just want to tell people what to do, or they want to fix people. They don’t have a lot of patience for getting into the mess and wading into the mess with the clients, which is necessary before we decide to bring order to the mess. First we need to jump in and not be afraid of it.
Bronwyn – I went to some non-trained counsellors, who weren’t trained on many things, but they were very good at one thing. They believed me from the get-go. They validated me. I thought, “You’re not even licensed. You haven’t gone through all the hopes, yet you believe me and you’re validating me and this feels amazing.”
Bronwyn – Dissociated anger makes us sick, both mentally and physically. Looking back at my own my own major depressive episodes, I see now that those were all my own dissociated anger at those times.
Bronwyn – What’s sharable is bearable. Our feelings are not tolerable in isolation. That’s when they hurt us. That’s where they stagnate inside our bodies and make us sick. When we share them with a therapist or a friend and they say, “Yea, I don’t blame you John for being very angry that the person said that.” Now I’m getting angry with you and for you. We’re sharing that energy from the anger with me. Now it’s dissipating out of your body into the ether. It’s counterintuitive.
Bronwyn – If you feel it and you share it with someone else, it does release.
Bronwyn – Unfortunately, we try to logic people when they’re upset. You’re not in your upstairs brain, but I’m speaking only to your upstairs brain only. You are 100% in your limbic brain – your downstairs brain. My first job is to regulate you, not by teaching you to self-regulate but by saying something like, “I don’t blame you for feeling rejected over what she said.” Now you’re feeling felt by me. You’re sharing your feelings. You feel validated. You feel understood. Your limbic brain is calming down and you will naturally be able to access the upstairs brain on your own.
Bronwyn – I view angers as a light on our emotional dashboard, like a light in a car that says, “check the engine”. Something is in need of attention. If we can start to shift our perspective of anger, say away from parents teaching us not to be angry. If we can think, “of course I’m angry, because something is wrong and this is here to tell me and warn me.” It gives me wisdom and information. It doesn’t mean I will be a raging angry person. I can master the anger instead of letting the anger master me. We do that by validating it for ourselves, then expressing it in a healthy way using boundaries, assertiveness or an accountability of sorts.
Guest Information: Bronwyn Schweigerdt is an evocative psychotherapist with a master's degree in counseling and nutrition. She helps people reconnect to their anger and heal relationship with themselves. Her goal is to elicit feelings people are ashamed to have. She knows that even though feelings are invisible, they don’t evaporate, but store away in our bodies until processed. According to Bronwyn, these feelings haunt us and cause mental illness until we express them into words with someone who can hear and validate them. She hosts a podcast called Angry At The Right Things, sharing information as a marriage and family therapist.
Bronwyn’s podcast link: Angry At The Right Things
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Thanks for joining us,
(-(-_(-_-)_-)-) Your wellness check-in team
John, Sammy, Cameron, Sheila, Elise, Isabelle, Noura and Julie