E098 Ellyn Winters Trauma: Breast Cancer Diagnosis
Let’s Be Well Together Podcast - Episode 98
Date: December 12, 2023
Participants: Elise Seifert, Julie Wilson, John Webster, Cameron Earnshaw and Sheila Webster
Guest: Ellyn Winters-Robinson
Start Times and Segments:
[0:00:17] What’s On Your Mind: Elise and Julie cover the first 10 of “31 Ways to Reduce Waste in Your Homes”, a Buzzfeed article by Danielle Healy (August 13, 2023) – from compost bins, to re-usable mop pads and k-cups, to laundry detergent sheets and more.
[0:10:10] Expanding Minds Interview: [Mental and Physical Wellness] We’re doing two interviews with Ellyn Winters-Robinson, flowing from her experience with breast cancer. In the first, Ellyn tells us how it felt to receive a diagnosis, which came as a complete surprise. She was very healthy and had no family history of breast cancer. There was trauma at different stages. She didn’t know how to handle it. Her family didn’t know how to handle it. Looking back, the best thing to do for anyone who is going through a terrible diagnosis, whether it’s cancer or anything else, is just to sit with them. Just say, “I don’t get what you’re going through. I’m going to hold your hand. I’m going to feed you nuts and tea and just be there to listen and receive”. Ellyn had a friend who did that, which was amazing. Fortunately. she is now cancer free. Although a cancer journey is hard and ugly, she looks back with gratitude, because it brought her some amazing people. It’s incredibly frightening at the beginning and intimidating, but there’s an element of transformative behaviour that is quite strong.
[0:28:20] Adventures of the Starving Artist: Cameron shows us some tools he uses when writing music, focusing on harmony – the chords – the music that supports the melody. We hear different ways to spice up a chord progression.
[0:33:35] Move That Body: Sheila and John will be trying ballroom dancing. They’re hoping it’s a fun way to move that body. It feels like a touch of Flipside in this Move That Body segment.
[0:38:55] Running Popup: This one’s a bit out in left field. John wondered while hearing the waves, as he ran beside the water, whether the sounds help him connect with the cosmos?
[0:40:21] Flipside of the Coin: Elise and Stephen met while teaching in South Korea. They tell us about the school they worked at.
Quotes and Take-Aways:
Ellyn – I was very healthy. I was the girl who committed to health. I went for my checkups. I did my exams. I breastfed my children. I eat healthy. I drink responsibly I don’t smoke. I’m not overweight. I have no family history of breast cancer at all. Eighty-five percent of people who have breast cancer have no family history. That was shocking to me.
Ellyn – I knew before I had a chance to get a direct answer from the doctor. I knew at that point and I called my husband in a panic, ran upstairs, crawled into bed and just started to cry, because I knew there was something terribly wrong.
Ellyn – The start of the trauma was knowing what going to be diagnosed with cancer, but having to deal with that and process it over a period of a few days, before I could meet with the doctor.
Ellyn – On the Monday morning my doctor said, “you have cancer”. There was no denying it. They found three nodules in my left breast. I couldn’t believe it, because I had a clean mammogram a few years earlier. Those early days were terrible.
Ellyn – Then I had to navigate the trauma of being told I have cancer, with them ordering me a surgical consult and a biopsy, but that would not happen for four weeks. It was the most traumatic period of my whole life. I didn’t know how to handle it. My family did not know how to handle it. It was a terrible four weeks.
Ellyn – The phrase that I could not abide when people try to encourage me was, “You’ve got this.” It puts so much pressure on the person who’s been diagnosed. I remember thinking “I don’t have this”. I am so scared. I am so terrified. To diminish what someone is going through at that moment is really hard. I understand where it comes from. The person giving the information is trying to make sense of it themselves.
Ellyn – I think the best thing to do for anyone who is going through a terrible diagnosis, whether it’s cancer or anything else, is just to sit with them. Just say, “I don’t get what you’re going through. I’m going to hold your hand. I’m going to feed you nuts and tea and just be there to listen and receive”. I have a friend who did that and it was amazing. There’s nothing you can say that’s going to make it better.
Ellyn – A cancer journey is hard and ugly and probably one of the worst things you’re going to go through in your life. And yet, I will look back at this with gratitude, because it brings to you some of the most amazing people that you’ll ever meet in. your life. There are people who come out of the woodwork who will sit with you. They will hold your hand. They will express compassion. I think you’ll meet the most amazing health care workers. It’s incredibly frightening at the beginning and intimidating, but there’s an element of transformative behaviour that is quite strong.
Ellyn – Live every day, as we should, always.
Bulletin Board Quote brought to you by Cameron: It’s got a little more somethin somethin
Guest Information: Ellyn Winters-Robinson is a recent breast cancer survivor, co-creator of www.AskEllyn.ai - a breast cancer chatbot and the world's first conversational AI for those on the breast cancer journey. She is also the author of the bestselling book "Flat Please Hold the Shame," a girlfriend’s companion guide for those on the breast cancer journey, available for purchase on Amazon. For the last 15 years, Ellyn has been the co-founder and chief marketing officer of Ignition Communications, a boutique marketing communications firm, and a long-time mentor at The Accelerator Centre. Ellyn’s story has been featured on numerous podcasts, People Magazine, the Globe and Mail, CTV, and Global.
Ellyn’s Book: Flat Please Hold the Shame https://a.co/d/hFMGemm
AskEllyn Breast Cancer Chatbot https://www.askellyn.ai
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Thanks for joining us,
(-(-_(-_-)_-)-) Your wellness check-in team
John, Sammy, Cameron, Sheila, Elise, Isabelle and Julie